Bruises - 08

Rules of Survival:

Without proof, you can't be taken seriously. If you're ever going to tell an adult, have proof.</i>

***

I had lied to him and my mind was whirling. I couldn't let him know what was going on. I couldn't let him get involved. I hoped they hadn't phoned home and my stepfather wasn't on his way. If he was, Ashton needed to leave. He needed to leave NOW. "Does anyone know I'm here?" I asked, ignoring his comment. Ignoring him calling me a liar. I know I am, but I don't want to hear him say it. It hurt when he did. He sighed.

"Well, Terry and a few others around there know. Jake left, saying it was you. The vice principal wasn't able to catch up with him. But the rest of the school is oblivious." he answered. "Do you really care that much of what other people think?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine I looked away.

"Did anyone phone my house?" I asked softly. I peeked out of the corner of my eye in time to catch him shaking his head and a weight seemed to ease itself off my heart. "They don't know about him." I said. "I already told you... but this... I'd be in hell if they knew." I said, spinning more lies. Well, it was a half truth really. I really would be in hell. A worse hell than I was already. He'd be gone, but I probably wouldn't be let out of the house for a long time. Mom still wasn't home yet. He'd keep me home and... I couldn't bear the idea.

"There's more to it than that, Sola... isn't there?" Ashton said and I held my breath, holding back the tears.

***

Ashton just didn't understand why she was still lying. Even if her parents found out about Jake, yeah she'd be in trouble, but they'd protect her from his abuse. They'd stop him from trying to contact her, right? Or wouldn't they? Was that why she was worried? Jake didn't give her all those bruises. He knew that. Was it her? Was it them?

The idea dawned on him and he let the silence consume them for a few long moments, trying to decide how to breach the subject. "Are they hurting you, Sola?" he asked, deciding the direct approach was the best way. The way she'd have the hardest time to avoid.

***

I froze. Was he just guessing or did he know? I didn't know what to do... It's like he knew the extent they were doing anything... For all he knew, one drank and just got a little aggravated every once in a while right? That was believable wasn't it? I couldn't tell him the whole truth. I couldn't bear the idea of that look in his eyes. That look of pity and disgust. I didn't ever want to see it from him.

I didn't even realize how caught up in my thoughts I was. I didn't know how long it had been since he'd asked, but he took my silence as a confirmation. I felt his weight settle on the bed as he sat next to me and his arms wrapped around me. My hair was covering my face and I didn't bother to move it and let him see my eyes. I wasn't crying, but I was damn close.

"You need to tell people Sola. You need to let people who can help, you know." he said. His arms felt so warm around me and in that moment, I wished he'd never move. He was the only one who knew. But we both knew there wasn't anything he could do. I hadn't even told him. How was I supposed to find the courage to tell someone else? I was scared that if I did tell, they wouldn't get me out immediately. I wouldn't be out of my house for a few days and in those days... I was scared I'd die. Not physically. At this point, that would be a relief. No, I'd completely break so that when they did take me and save me, there really would be nothing left to save.

His heat broke away from me as he pulled away and I fought the urge to pull him close again. I felt desperate and I didn't want him to know that. I didn't want him thinking he had a right to hurt me too. That I let him close enough to do that to me...

"Come on, Sola." he said and took my hand, leading me up off the bed. We left the nurse's wing, which was empty to my surprise and continued down to the principal's office. He walked me inside where the Vice Principal shooed him away, telling him to go back to class. He could handle things here. I watched Ashton leave and wished he'd come back, because he left and took the slight feeling of safety that had built up and I felt alone. Alone and afraid.

"So, what appears to be the problem, Miss Vidal?" the vice principal asked. I took a deep breath and thought of Ashton's words. He was right, I needed to tell someone...

"They hit me." I burst out and as soon as I said it, it was if I could breathe easier. We sat in silence for a moment as he waited for me to go on. "Jake used to hurt me. My mother... she... and my stepfather he... he doesn't hit me... he..." I couldn't say it, but I think he got the point.

"Miss Vidal... are you sure?" he asked. I almost cried right there. What did he mean, was I sure? Of course I was! Then I realized. He was close to me. Very close to me. Nearly touching me in fact. "Are you just looking for attention, Sola? You were pushing yourself away from Jake when he hadn't done anything." he stated, his breath almost touching my cheek. I shivered. No... that wasn't true... was it? Had he really not done anything and I just overreacted, pushing myself away? I couldn't remember... My heart was beating in my chest so hard it nearly hurt and I felt afraid. He stepped closer.

"If you want attention, I can help you." he said, putting his arm around my waist, and pulling me close into a hug. I almost broke down again. Why couldn't the principal have been here? Maybe she would have believed me. I pulled away and ran. He didn't follow. Why couldn't I just be left alone? Why was this always so hard?

Why was I so easy to hurt? Why couldn't I just die already...