Bruises - 03

Rules of survival:

Fear is your friend. When you feel it, act on it.</i></u>

***
I got home to find an empty house, which was nice. Maybe they were out together but more likely that one was getting food and the other was working. They didn't ever let me know their schedules. It made things difficult some days but what can you do?

I came into my room and put my bag down. Someone had opened my drawers. They were askew. I didn't even think about why he'd done it. And I knew it was him. I sat down at my computer and sighed before turning it on. As soon as I logged in, I knew that someone had been in it. It was a regular routine. One of them always went through my history and everything I did on the computer. I always deleted the conversations I ever had, which were rare, but sometimes, I talked with people on MSN. I usually lied. But lying was a relief because people talked to me. Really talked to me. I'd even helped a few people in better situations than mine but still pretty bad.

I logged in, appearing offline, and set my settings to not save conversations. I always logged out then logged in again and changed it to save them. Every once in a while I would let a conversation save. But not usually. I knew I'd be in trouble for talking to strangers.

As soon as I set myself to appear online a message popped up saying someone had added me. The email was forgottenstranger_09@hotmail.com</u>. I let them add me and they started talking right away. The screen name was just Dark Stranger and revealed nothing.

Dark Stranger said:
Hey. What's up?

Sola waited a minute before replying, not quite sure what to say. Finally, she typed back.

Lonely Girl said:
Pretty good. You?

Waiting for a reply was almost agonizing. Even though this person was paying attention because they started replying right away.

Dark Stranger said:
Are you really? You seem out of it most of the time. I hope I don't scare you off by saying that.

I stared at the screen. Who was this? How did they know?

***

Ashton looked at the computer and waited for a reply. He'd asked Sola for her MSN during lunch, but he didn't think she'd be on.  When she didn't reply for a moment, he leaned back in his chair ran his fingers through his hair with a little frustration. Was he pushing her away? He had gone too far too fast, hadn't he?

Lonely Girl said:
Who is this?

Ashton looked at the screen and almost hit himself over the head. He hadn't given her his address. Of course she didn't know who he was! How could he have not clued in about that?

Dark Stranger said:
It's Ashton. Ashton Howell.
Lonely Girl said:
Oh, lol. I thought maybe it was someone from online. So what do you mean I seem out of it most of the time?
Dark Stranger said:
I dunno... Just kind of lost. You don't really look at people and you always seem to be off in another world. You ok?
Lonely Girl said:
Oh. Well, I daydream a lot. It's fine.

Ashton looked at the screen and shook his head. "I know something's wrong, Sola." he whispered. "I just don't know how to get you to trust me... to tell me..." he said and began to type his reply.

***

I stared at the screen waiting for it. It was even easier to lie online, because they couldn't see your face. See your body language. Besides, who did this Ashton think he was? He didn't know the littlest thing about me. Well, we talked a bit but less since we'd started high school. That was two years ago. So why was he suddenly talking now?

Dark Stranger said:
I wouldn't want to see your daydreams then. You seem in pain, Sola. I know I don't deserve your trust. I know you barely know me but if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

I stared in shock. How did he know? I didn't tell anyone so it's not like someone tattled. Was it really obvious? Did the others see and just not care? Or was it just him? Was he just looking closely? It sort of felt good to know that someone cared. Even if they didn't, at least they said they did. That felt nice.

Lonely Girl said:
Thanks. It's nice to know. What about you? Do you wanna talk about anything?

I had to change the subject. Get it away from me. I kept listening carefully for the sound of someone getting back, just in case. If anyone came in while I was having this conversation, I'd be in trouble. And he'd even put his full name earlier in the conversation so he'd be as good as dead.

Dark Stranger said:
Well, I don't wanna dump on you. You probably feel the same way, don't you? It's just, you know no one can understand. No one can help, so why bother telling and worrying people right?

I just... How did he... This was getting weird... Has he been following me? Or is he going through something similar?

Dark Stranger said:
It's hard to talk, I know. But how's this. I'll tell you a bit about me, then you tell me a bit about you? Maybe we can help each other.
Dark Stranger said:
</i>I'm the middle kid in my family. My younger sister is really mean and gets me in trouble all the time. My older brother used to beat me up for fun, but kind of grew out of it when he moved off for school. My dad's always working to support us and my mom's an alcoholic. It makes things hard some days, but you just have to smile and try to move on. Your turn.</i>

I just stared. He didn't seem like he'd be the kind of person in that sort of situation at all. Sure, he wasn't happy all the time, but he was nice. How could he be, coming out of that? Or was he mean just like them and was hiding it? What did he want from me? I decided that since he'd trusted me, I'd give him a little answer. No need to delve.

Lonely Girl said:
Well, I'm kind of shy so it's hard to make friends. I tend to get grabbed in by people I don't really know. That's how I got in my relationship. Jake, my boyfriend... well, my parents don't know we're dating and he's a little... Harsh some days. His heart's in the right place though.

At that moment, I heard a vehicle turned into the driveway and panicked. If anyone saw this, I'd be in a lot of trouble.

Lonely Girl said:
I've got to go. My mom's home. I'm not supposed to be on the computer. See you tomorrow.

I said and quickly logged out. I logged back in with the offline setting and changed my setting to save conversations, then logged out again. I just opened my email and pretended I was checking them when my stepfather came and knocked at my open door and looked at me with his cold eyes. I was wrong. I wish it had been mom.

"So, how was your meeting with the teacher?" he asked, coming closer.

"Fine. They cleared everything up." I said, not taking my eyes off the computer screen, pretending I was enthralled by what I was looking at.

"Good. Supper will be ready soon." he said, putting his arm on my shoulder, giving it an 'affectionate'  squeeze. He left and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wish I didn't have to take this...