Bruises - 01

I woke before my alarm. No surprises there. Another day was dawning. Another day that I wanted no part of. How much did I wish I'd really slept? How much did I wish I didn't have to get up and live today?

My name is Sola Vidal. Yeah, it's Spanish but my family hasn't been able to speak it for generations and I don't look it. So don't ask about it. It's on my mothers side, by the way. It might have been on my fathers too but we haven't seen him for years. I don't know if my parents actually divorced or he just left and she moved on. I was little when it happened. I don't remember much before the age of eight.

I'm seventeen now. Well, nearly. My birthday is coming up soon but I hope that they've forgotten. I don't like birthdays. Not anymore.

I slowly unfurled myself from the ball I'd curled into and tentatively reached my bare toes to the cold floor, careful not to make any noise. I sat up and eased my body over to the bathroom. It took me a while before I could bear to look at myself but when I finally looked up, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The bruise on my neck was disappearing, nearly gone in fact. The one on my cheek was now a yellow brown, so it was healing. The circles under my eyes showed how little I could sleep now.

I quietly rooted around under the sink until I found my basket and pulled it out. All of my makeup was in there. I reached for the concealer then for my compact. In a matter of minutes, nothing was noticeable. Well... the circles under my eyes were still there but not quite so bad. I almost looked human. Good. I put on my dark make up and ran a brush through my long brown hair. I ran my fingers through it after, wishing I could cut it. I really didn't like it so long for various reasons now. But if I cut it... Well, I'd regret it. I quickly brushed my teeth and left the bathroom.

I moved quietly back to the bedroom and pulled on my clothes that I'd set out the night before. I didn't want to pull on my drawers and risk waking people up. It took me a matter of seconds to be ready and I picked up my backpack and snuck down the stairs. I used to make my bed but someone would unmake it. Probably my mother, just so she could yell at me later.

I snuck across the kitchen in my sock feet and had just reached the door when I heard a yawn and I froze. I turned my head and caught his eyes.

"Good morning Sola. Where are you heading off so early?" he asked, his blue eyes cold, as usual. I hated those eyes. Well, I still hate them.

"I have to-" I started, trying to come up with a quick excuse but he interrupted me.

"You better not be going off to see a boy."  he warned and gave me that look that I feared. The one of anger and possession. If it had been a few months ago, I would have told him it wasn't any of his business but I knew better now. He'd married my mother. No more best foot forward that was always there while they were dating. They both hated me now.

In response, I just shook my head. "I was supposed to talk to my teacher this morning about a project. I had a couple questions about it." I lied. I was really good at that now.

"Why don't you show me, I'm sure I can help." he said, sipping his coffee and leisurely leaning against the doorway, letting his robe fall open the slightest bit. I made sure not to look. I didn't want to excite him in any way this morning.

"Well, actually, it's about what they actually want. The essay format and that. If it was something else, I'd be sure to ask." I said, without much enthusiasm. But I knew he wouldn't bother picking on me for that. He knew exactly how I felt and he also knew that there was nothing I could do about it.

"Hmm. I see." he said and leaned more into the doorframe. His robe was falling more open with his every movement and it wouldn't be long until it was open completely.

"Well, I've got to be going." I said and reached for the doorknob. Suddenly, I felt him grab my arm and I froze again.

"Have you eaten breakfast?" he asked, pushing himself closer to me. The smell of him was almost enough to make me puke.

"Yeah, I grabbed something when I first got up. I didn't want to make a big fuss and wake anyone." I said quickly, blood beginning to rise to my cheeks.

"Alright then. I'll see you after school." he said and leaned down, waiting. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and as soon as he let go, I nearly bolted out the door. I didn't stop running until I was two blocks away and when I did stop, I collapsed and wretched at the side of someones yard. I hoped they wouldn't look out. I didn't need anyone calling back home and letting them know what was going on.

I gave myself a few minutes to compose myself before standing up and brushing myself off. I kept walking slowly, making myself slowly towards the school. I didn't need to be there for at least an hour. Why rush? Right now I was free. Free for a few precious minutes. Minutes that just never seemed to last...

I guess I just got so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't think to look back. I didn't think to look and see if anyone was following me. Why would they follow me anyway? I was invisible. I just wish I was more invisible. I wish I wasn't here at all. Never here at all...